So Much to Say

So Much to Say
Wow....I haven't updated in a few days....and when life is eventful....the posts tend to be clipped short to fit it all in. Here's the rundown:

Sunday:
Watched the MoTab's 75th Anniversary Broadcast. I want to be a part of them someday.
Church was excellent. Feeling the spirit more and more each week.
Rosie still in Idaho for Butler Family Reunion. Slight pangs of sadness.

Met Martel and Sharol, Taylor's uncle and aunt in Sandy. They live right by GG & Pop's place on Campus Drive. They have beautiful twins, Bailey and Bennett, six weeks old. It was so fun to hold little bebees! And Taylor was dang cute holding them too. Ate some of Sharol's BTS cake, and I stumbled over trying to make a joke about it (I bet its not as good as mine!) Took some nice pictures from their balcony, and felt very comfortable. (Much more confortable than it EVER was meeting the Perrys)

Took a drive up Big Cottonwood Canyon, listening to a mix CD Taylor made for me (Including: Hold Me Now, For Once in My Life, Sarah singing Rainbow Connection, and GROWING PAINS theme song!) Drove up to Brighton, watched the clouds float and sun set. Enjoyed each other's company...it was terribly nice to be together alone. I can't even count the times he told me how beautiful I am. *sigh*

Monday:
No concentration at work. Listened to Fumbling Towards Ecstasy on repeat.

After work, ran to pick up a pizza for dinner and Rosie. Taylor came over to have dinner and work on my computer while I got ready for the concert. Chatted with Tonya about wedding plans....funny how I was a little jealous of her. She took some pics of us on my digital camera, but unfortunately they didn't come out very clear. I vamped up my hair with some big sexy curls (which I don't think I've done in months and months) Taylor said I looked great, but he likes me with my hair straight better.

We got to the E-Center with enough time to hit up the radio station drawings. I ran into Jorge from work with his wife, they looked almost as happy to be there as Tay and I. We were in section 103, which was just a few feet left of the stage, and we were in the center of row 13. EXCELLENT seats...worth the $150 I forked out for them. Butterfly Boucher was the opening act, who also opened for BNL. She is very cool, need to download "Little White Dash."

As for Sarah....words cannot describe how incredible the show was. She opened with "Fallen." The stage was very cool....almost a fantasy/LOTR landscapey thing going on. We were close enough to the stage to check out her facial expressions, but we were very very close to the video screen, so nothing was left up to the imagination. Her set list was amazing...the WHOLE Afterglow album, most of Surfacing and Fumbling, and a few early songs I didn't recognize. She even did a little "You are my Sunshine," and Blackbird. I could go on and on for hours about how amazing it was, if you want the full rundown....contact me!

I ended up buying her postcard set, and a poster of Afterglow. It was pouring rain as we went out to the car. Traffic wasn't too terrible to get out and get home. When we pulled up to my house, Taylor said how he wished the night didn't have to end there. He walked me to my door, and realized that he hadn't put my computer back together. So he came in, and he joked "You know, we're going to have to put my computer at this desk!" And from then on out, or conversation had a very positive spin towards the future. He didn't propose, but he said that nothing could make him happier than the thought of me being his wife. And once that topic is mentioned, it's hard not to fanasize about what that would be like. This should be an interesting next few months. We stayed up talking until 3 am, and I didn't want the night to end.

Tuesday:
Work was a bugger, having only 3.5 hours of sleep. Team meeting was okay, found out I'll be shortly moving cubicles again. *ick*
Went to Enrichment night, Preparedness night. Tried freeze dried refried beans and other lovely food storage creations.
Had a very very nice phone convo with Taylor, reminiscing of the previous night. Didn't want to use up all of his minutes on his phone, so we IM'd for a while as he did homework and I made a child support spreadsheet. Steve owes me $300, but there's still the inheritance issue. Ohhh....I can't wait until he gives up on getting his money back. Grrrr

Wednesday:
Nothing too exciting, other than talking to Taylor a few times. He called me at work, and my coworkers joked about me saying "I love you too," at the end of the conversation.
Picked up some CDs at the library to burn, almost done, then heading home to bed

Field Trip to Provo

The trip to Provo was long...just over 90 minutes. We went to his friend Eric's place at Wymount, and ate dinner with him, his wife Jennifer, and their daughter Hayley. We grilled steaks, and I brought my broccoli salad. Jennifer was very cool...she and I had a talk while the guys were at the grill. I asked her for the scoop on Taylor....things about him she knows that I might never know. She said that Taylor is a video game addict...he loses track of time easily when it's on. He forgets things at their house every time he's over, and he detests green beans. She did say that he is a very quality guy...very few men in the world as gentlemanly and genuinely kind as Taylor. She said he will treat me like gold.

After dinner, we headed back to his apartment. We went through stacks of pictures. There was stuff from mission, Ricks....and then lots of pics of him with Amanda. He kept saying he was embarrased that there were so many. I told him not to sweat it...it was kinda fun to see the pics of him with such a silly-lovestruck grin on his face. Wonder if he smiles like that when he thinks of me. I snatched two pics of him...one was from three weeks ago at Disneyland. (he is trying to pull the sword out of the stone) The other is from christmas 2002 in front of the SL Temple (he looks soooooo good in it)

Rosie, Taylor, snuggled up on the couch to watch the Simpsons. Funny how we laughed in the exact same places. It was amazing how "at home" I felt...the three of us together. I was sad to be sick...I was nervous to be close to Taylor because I don't want him to get sick. Even today, I'm still congested and coughing and a bit feverish. But he still insisted on kissing me goodbye. Silly goof. When we were hugging goodbye, I asked him if it was awkward for him to have Rosie there. He said that it will be a big adjustment to jump into a father role, but he laughed and said that he won't miss the diaper disasters and midnight feedings. Interesting how he put such a positive future spin on the conversation...kinda like "when," not "if."

Who knows though....no need to hurry this. I'm just enjoying it while it's here.

Rosie's latest trauma and spiritual decisions

I was in the kitchen after I got off work and I suddenly heard a massively frightening scream. "Mommy the bee stunged me!" So we iced it, put some sting remedy on, put on some Spongebob, and she's doing much better. What's up with all of these weekly incidents? Makes me feel like a bad mommy.

Last night I was chatting with Hedger about how he and his fiance progressed from friends to more. It was cool to hear his story...he's sending out his announcements tomorrow. They aren't having a reception, just a little family shindig after the temple. I've thought a lot about what I'd like for a wedding if I do remarry. I feel like my wedding arrangements with Steve were a little more grandiose than necessary. It wasn't flamboyant by any means, but there were somethings that could have been omitted and I would have been happy. IFF Taylor and I were to get married, it would have to be a much smaller affair...and I'd be happy with that.

I can't remember the last time I felt so devoted and firm in my spirituality. It's amazing the difference I've felt in my life since I changed my attitude from "How bad can I be and still be good?" to "How can I draw nearest to my Savior?" I've been keeping up on my daily study of the Book of Mormon and Jesus the Christ. And my prayers have felt so much more purposeful. Rosie had a REAL lesson out of the manual for FHE this week, and she seemed to understand the things I read directly from the text. I feel like I'm on the right track. Back when I was visiting with Bishop Monson in January, he told me that as soon as I figured out some of my demons, gave myself some time to heal, and found my way back to having the spirit in my life...finding a good worthy priesthood holder would soon follow. And the blessing Dad gave me 6 weeks ago mentioned something to that effect...that there was a great worthy man that would soon come into my life.

I wonder if these feelings I have for Taylor are founded and real...and that the "answers" I am getting to my prayers are what the Spirit wants me to hear (not just what I WANT to hear) Last night I was talking to Heidi about the ways she felt when her and Robby started dating. It reminded me a lot of Taylor and I. She said, "When you feel right about it, consider it a blessing from Heavenly Father. Don't sit around and rationalize it. If things are meant to be, and you are keeping the commandments and drawing nearer to Him, you will know what to do."

My thoughts have been turning a lot to the temple lately. I have faith that I'm doing what is necessary to make it there worthily very soon. And I think it will be important to recommit to frequent temple attendance. I'm sure Em will be willing to be my temple buddy. And I also would like to attend with Taylor. However, I do feel a bit of hesitation with that because of what happened with Tim (on our "supposedly righteous" temple day) I have been having a very strong draw to the Mt. Timpanogas Temple. I've thought a lot about the day I went through that temple for the open house (back in '96 I think?) I remember walking into the bride's room, and just being overcome with the spirit...I couldn't even stand up. I had a whispering at that time. I don't remember the exact words, but I remember the feeling. Good things were to happen to me in that temple. I don't know if that is where I'd choose to be sealed, but I think my first time back to the Temple, I want it to be at Mt. Timp.

I was looking through my computer, and was very pleased to realize that I had saved several IMs from Taylor! These were some of our first conversations, and I though it would be cool to have them posted and easily readable. Also, I thought I'd give a quick run-down of our first few dates...just for "posterity's sake."

First Email to Me
From : Taylor Bullock
Sent : Wednesday, April 7, 2004 11:02 PM
To : cuteculturechick@hotmail.com
Subject : Hello there!

Hey cuteculturechick, I just wanted to introduce myself, my name's Taylor Bullock. Your profile intrigued me and I thought that we could get to know each other a little better. A little bit about me, I'll be starting my final year at BYU this spring (and am SO looking forward to being done.) I'm an international relations major and would like to work for the government eventually as an analyst. Time will tell, but I'm the oldest of 7, the youngest is seven (she's the cute redhead in the pictures) and I'm a California boy, grew up in the subburbs of LA. I love dancing (especially big band), movies, and I sing a little (or took a semester of voice lessons at any rate). I served my mission in La Paz, Bolivia, and have been home about 3 and a half years. I graduated from Ricks with an AA in Spanish and International Studies, and have been plugging away at school ever since.

I'd love to hear a little bit about you, your family, ect. You're a U2 fan? I think we could get along! Your daughter is adorable by the way, nice work! I've got some studies to take care of before bed, but take care, until next time.....

Sincerely,
Taylor

First Date
We met in Murray at Baja Fresh. Did a little of the basic "getting to know you chitchat. I was suprised to hear that he had only been out of his engagement for a month, and was suprised that he said he felt ready to give dating a chance again. I remember him distinctly telling me, "You are an amazing lady," for the trials and adversity that I seem to be handling so well. He also said I reminded him of his mother. I instantly fell for his smile. After eating, we had a few minutes to kill...so we went in my car and listened to John Mayer. We sang along, and discussed our other music interests. He may have grabbed my hand for a squeeze once or twice, and the date ended with a hug.

Work Encounter
Taylor was working at Sugarhouse Circuit City at the time. I stopped by the store on my way to working for Linda one day....a few days after our first date. I brought Rosie along, and we browsed the computer section and talked for a few minutes with him when he wasn't with a customer. There was a flat-screen monitor that had an animated fishtank design that looked a lot like "Finding Nemo." Rosie asked about Taylor a few times after, "Where is the boy with the fish tv?"

Second Date
He picked me up at my house, and we went to a hole in the wall mediterranean restaurant in Fort Union. He got the info off of the internet, and was embarrassed that it wasn't all that the website made it out to be. I don't remember the conversations much, but I do remember enjoying my time with him. We went to the Sandy dollar theater, and he let me pick the flick. I chose "The Home Teachers," which he moaned and complained about. I thought it was pretty stupid too. He didn't have cash on him, and I threw down the money to see the movie. He said, "My sense of chivilry can't handle that....I need to make it up to you." So we went to Baskin Robbins and got ice cream. A few hand squeezes, and an hug at the end.

Tuesday, July 13th, 2004

Tuesday, July 13th, 2004
Twitterpation is a unique feeling. Forget to eat, daydreaming, and being accused of having a "smile that won't wash away." Nothing too thrilling went on at work, but it was a nice day nonetheless. I listened to some of the CDs Taylor burned for me (Andrea Bocelli, James Taylor, U2, and Sting) Told a few coworkers about my boy, some seemed happy, some rolled their eyes over ANOTHER guy in my life. Tried calling him on my lunch, but just got voice mail. I'm pathetic for wanting to talk to him all the time. Also picked up my Sarah tickets from the ebay guy. (We met at Fazolis. mmmm baked ziti) Monday will be such a great night!

Checked Dan's LJ today, where he expressed some disgust over reading about my budding romance with Taylor. I sent him an email of affirmation...telling him how much the time we spent together meant to me, and wishes for a great future. We IM'd for a while, I appreciate him humoring me with a few details of my love life. "I never meant to cause you trouble, I never meant to do you harm."

Tay and I IM'd also. I love it when he ends with "ciao bella!" He and I talked about the Five Love Languages. I so need to dig up that book for reference. He said he doesn't think that there is one specific way that he wants to be shown love. I guess I'll have to be creative. I said that mine was time and kind words. "LOL That won't be easy for me!" We also talked on the phone after 9 (when his night minutes kick in) and we breached a few of the sticky subjects, like how Steve is still on the title of the house (I still am not certain on what I should do...he was saying I should sell my house at a loss and move in with my parents to save money. Not sure how I feel about that!) But I expressed some of my concerns about abandonment and self-doubt. He said that I have nothing to worry about. We made a promise to be honest, and if there are doubts and concerns about our relationship...we need to work them out as they come, not let them fester and get worse. I worry that I still have too much baggage. I've been thinking of going back to my counselor.

I feel like I've had so much extra time in the past few days! I haven't been wasting copious amounts of text messages, haven't made plans with other guys, and I don't really miss it too much. I wish Taylor lived closer though, so we could spend our time together. We're getting together Thursday night in Provo (possibly with his best friend who is married and their kid. Should be interesting)'

I've been thinking about my tendencies to rush things in relationships. It's hard not to when things feel so right. I wonder why I have such a desire to make a permanent relationship arrangement. I should be taking it easy, enjoying the time we have as it comes. Must admit that I'm sad I'm not with him tonight, since it was an option.

In other news....I've been looking into school again. Weber's Respiratory Therapy program is quite intriguing, and I like the idea of the distance courses and the Salt Lake Campus. Still praying about it...but I think I'll fill out financial aid applications this week. Ah, to be a student again!

Quick Meme (courtesy of two emails I received)
CD in player: Sarah McLachlan "Afterglow"
Current Read: Jesus The Christ by James E Talmage
Last Purchase: Sarah McLachlan tickets off ebay (13th row, less than box office price!)
Next Purchase: Probably application fees for Weber State
Last movie seen: The Terminal
Next movie you want to see: The Notebook
Last Person you went out with: Taylor
Next person you want to go out with: Taylor
Last person you kissed: Taylor (my, I see a trend here)
Currently wearing: Burgandy dress and black sandals
Summer theme song: At the John Mayer concert, he said that "Clarity" was the official song for the middle of summer, and he hopes we "all find that special person to spend forever with."

Historical Blogging/IMing

Monday, July 12th, 2004
Taylor says: I'm glad you got some quality time with Rosie at least
Nicole says: Yeah....it was soooo nice, I can't remember the last time when I had a whole day at home with her. Oh, I got her a CTR ring today...she is so happy
Taylor says: very cool, does she know what it means?
Nicole says: "choose the wight way"
Taylor says: nice
Nicole says: when I was waking up from my nap, Rosie started jumping on the bed singing "Book of Mormon Stories" Oh, and it was so cute....I asked Rosie if he liked you...
Taylor says: oh yeah?
Nicole says: she said "yeah, he's really nice and I like that he kisses you a lot. I think he loves you this much!" (and she held out her arms all the way)
Taylor says: lol, nice
Nicole says: so do you? (with arms all the way out?)
Taylor says: yeah I do!
Nicole says: I've been just floating with happiness today
Taylor says: that's a great change of pace! Happiness and your daughter
Nicole says: so apparently I'm quite the heartbreaker...I've turned down 4 dates this week
Taylor says: wow, I feel partially responsible...
Nicole says: I wouldn't have it any other way. And someone had ordered flowers to be delivered to me tomorrow....he was really mad. Luckily he was able to get a refund LOL
Taylor says: lol, nice. There are a couple girls calling me and I've been trying to avoid them.....but the pain will have to be faced!
Nicole says: will the pain be worth it?
Taylor says: all signs point to positive!
Nicole says: WOO HOO! Ah Taylor, you're the best
Taylor says: I do what I can
Nicole says: well, what you're doin' is working for me
Taylor says: anytime girl

Current Mood: loved
Current Music: When We Dance, Sting

It's hard to believe that this could feel so right

Sunday morning I had planned on attending a singles ward with Kellie, since Rosie would still be gone. But I had absolutely no desire to do so after my night with Taylor. I think that my prayer and scripture study was much more advantageous to setting myself on the meat market to be observed. I chatted with Steve for a few this morning, gave him the rundown on the Taylor situation...and declined the Sarah tix. I think I want to suprise Taylor with tickets. I picked up Rosie around noon from Steve. She had such a gorgeous flower girl dress from Selena's wedding. I think I will need to get her picture taken in it. Taylor and I made plans to get together after church.

Sacrament meeting was wonderful. I partook of the sacrament for the first time since January. I don't think it has ever been so meaningful....

As now our minds review the past we know we must repent
The way to thee is righteousness, the way thy life was spent
Forgiveness is a gift from Thee we seek with pure intent
With hands now pledged to do Thy work, we take the Sacrament

Sunday school was also excellent. RS was on principles of financial security. We discussed the blessings of paying a full tithe. That reminded me of Friday night, when Taylor called me when I was at the dance. He had called to find out which CDs I wanted him to burn for me. He had joked, "Ah, the blessings that come from paying your tithing." It was cool.

Scripture of the day: Alma 26:35-37

Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, there never were men that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since the world began; yea, and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all power, wisdom and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name.

Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo. Yea, blessed is the name of my God, who has been mindful of this people, who are a branch of the tree of Israel, and has been lost from its body in a strange land; yea, I say, blessed be the name of my God, who has been mindful of us, wanderers in a strange land.

Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen.

I invited Taylor to come for dinner with my family. I went over straight after church so I had some time to be with my fam before he arrived. I gave my mom a heads up on the evening before, so she could be prepared. I had told her that Taylor had said that he loved me, and she got so excited and gave me a huge hug. I made him a mix cd of songs I like, but I think there might have been an error on it...I'll have to ask him if it worked okay. We had tacos, then watched part of the Pearl Awards. I was hoping to see ME on camera, but the only shot I was in had my head cut off. LOL.

After watching the Pearls, Taylor and I took a walk on the Jordan River Parkway. We walked hand in had, enjoying the scenery and getting to know each other...with a little talk that nudged toward future plans. He asked me what my plans were for the next six months. I had said that I would continue to work, and make the decision about school (as to which program, full vs part time, and where to attend) I had told him that when I have prayed about it, I hadn't ever gotten any definite positive answers. He said "You do need to make a decision though. The Lord can't direct a parked car." He also said that he'd like to be a part of helping me make my decision.

We did a little "comparison-ing", how when we date people there is a a natural tendency to see how people compare to others we have been interested in. Both of us have dated several people in the two months we didn't see each other. He said that he always compared them to Amanda. But with me, I don't even compare...I stand on my own. (What an amazing compliment) He's never dated or been interested in someone divorced or someone with a child, but with me it doesn't intimidate him. We discussed how he had gotten engaged so quickly previously, and had vowed to take things slow with his next relationship. But we both know the feelings are there. We would be so good for each other. He has been good for my self-confidence, giving me affirmations like "Don't ever doubt your self worth again," and "You are a truly amazing woman." How can a person not feel loved when hearing that and knowing that it is meant in all honesty and adoration?

This was one of the most beautiful and fulfilling conversations I have ever had. We talked about the importance of keeping our behavior in check, because nothing is worth losing out on the temple marriage opportunity. He didn't propose to me, obviously....but I can definitely see us going in that direction....starving student and all. I was looking in his mingle profile today, and loved some of his comments...

If I had $10 million... I guess one doesn't need a lot of Babylon to be happy. A nice house in the suberbs would be cool. (maybe one by the beach too!) I love to travel and would like to spend sometime in Europe and just getting to know this beautiful world, hopefully going on a lot of missions. Oh yeah, a car that doesn't break down on me every few months would be way nice!

My perfect day would be... Going up Pacific Coast highway in a convertible (I can dream, can't I?) with good music, good friends (or even better, my mate), and good weather. Most importantly, school has to be the most distant thing from my mind. I hope for a day in the future when I can come home from a great job and see my wife and kids and just know in that moment that all is right with the world!

One final thing I'd like to mention... Nah, I'm not that complicated! :)

Needless to say, I'm one happy camper!

Make a wish, say a prayer, take my hand and stay forever

Saturday I didn't have much planned, and Wade called me to see if I'd like to see a movie. We went and saw "The Terminal." Very good flick. And we got ice cream after. Very nice guy, although young. I was a bit anxious to get to my date with Taylor.

He picked me up around 6:30 and we headed up to This is the Place. He had taken my hand in his almost as soon as we got in the car, which he had never done before. He had made a mix CD of Sarah McLachlan, Sting, and John Mayer. When "Possession" came on, and we were both singing along....we gave me a look that was much more than friendly. It was a sultry hot evening, sprawled out on blankets under a blazing sun. I got a little bit sunburned, but the gorgeous sunset made up for it. Peter B and Nancy Hanson were headliners, along with some other LDS performers. However, we felt like we were a mile back and the sound system was poor, so the concert was just background noise to some wonderful conversations.

My attraction to him was nearly immediate. Beginning with holding hands, and progressing to cuddling, and eventually our first kiss. It was kinda funny because when Peter B came out and everyone started screaming...I said to Taylor "Now that's what it's all about!" And he replied..."No, this is." And he pulled me in and I was a goner. There were a lot of kisses...but it wasn't like we made out. Just a few sweet pecks here and there. And when he pulled me into his arms it just felt so....right. But it wasn't just about our physical attraction, I also was impressed on many other levels. (Mentally, spiritually, etc...) And wow, how wonderful his compliments are! "How did you get so dang beautiful?"

We ate dinner at Noodles and Co. He told me about the rough life he's had with his family (5 divorces, father in prison, psycho sister, etc...) And I gave him more background on my relationship with Steve, and he seemed so appalled and disgusted and the things that I'd been through in my marriage. He said that nobody deserves to be treated so terribly, and he'd never do anything to make me feel less of a person. We had joked earlier in the week that he has too much free time this summer and he needed a hobby....he said he wanted me to be his hobby. He made it very clear that he wanted to be with me, and at the end of the evening he told me that he loved me. "I love you, girl" were his exact words, and that is the first time a man has expressed that before I had.

I have been on dates with many people since my divorce...30 or so I'd guess. And even with the ones I've had a connection to...none of them have made me felt this way, and taken away my desire to date other men. But it didn't take long for me to decide that I didn't want to be anywhere else.

I spent a lot of time on my knees, reading my scriptures and studying my patriarchal blessing today. And I had a VERY strong impression that I need to allow this relationship to develop. When I was dating Steve, and had asked those same questions, my answer was to not end it, just allow it to happen and see where it went. And reading in my PB about the mate that I need to seek just sealed the deal, because I believe that Taylor would fulfill all these requirements.

I've been telling myself to take things slow when I found someone that I wanted to be serious with, but I have such a strong desire to pursue our relationship. As good as the answers to prayers felt today, I wonder if it is more the spirit saying it is right, or my own self wanting it to be right. Time will tell. I think that the distance between us having him in Provo may be advantageous, as hard as it will seem when we want to spontaneously get together. However, he has been thinking about moving to SLC because his friend is needing a roommate. Ah, how nice it would be....

Okay...I'm tired. I will talk about the Sunday night adventure later. I'm off to bed to "sleep just to dream him."

Flying Solo on Friday

Friday night I went to the Octapella concert alone at Brigham Young park. I had never seen them before, but they were very fun to see! They do a little cheezy choreography with the show, but they have some great numbers. I especially liked "Kiss the Girl," "Light in your Eyes," and "BALD-hemian Rhapsody." I would have bought their CDs had I brought cash. Tyson and I had mentioned getting together for the performance, but he ended up staying home.

Afterwards I went to Trolley Square for the Steve Ames dance. It was free (Ladies Night!) so I figured what the heck. I didn't know anyone but Mark Eborn (cute bookstore boy...who asked me if I wanted to M-O again. LOL) I met up with some girls and they were fun to chill with. I did some kareoke ("Building a Mystery") There were a few people at the dance which I loved chilling with. One was Bryce who was in SLC visiting from BYUI (originally from Cali) and he was a total cutie. Only been home from his mish for a month or so, so a bit on the awkward side....but we had a great time Kareokeing to "LOVE SHACK!" I also met Wade, who invited me to Dees with some other people.

There were eight of us at Dees. We played some fun icebreakers like Two Truths and a Lie, and Describing our First Kiss. Wade was pretty flirty with me, but a guy named Nate also caught my attention. He was a bit of a trophy boy (Duke grad, Marketing job with Zions Securities, drives a sweet bimmer, used to model for Quicksilver) and although we exchanged numbers, I doubt I'll hear from him again unless it is with this group. It's been a while since I've gone out after a dance, and I didn't get home until 4 am. I was sleepy, but it was nice having the option to sleep in until 9:30.

Rosie's Trauma

This evening Rosie and I went to Tyson's house. He made dinner, and we watched "Help!" in honor of Ringo's birthday. We were enjoying the movie as Rosie fed the dogs popcorn and ran around. Suddenly, we heard a clash of breaking glass, and Rosie started whimpering. She had tripped with a glass of water in her hands, and it shattered. There was a lot of blood dripping heavily, and shards of glass all in her arm and hands. We hurried over to Instacare to have them clean up the wounds. Rosie was so brave, she didn't even flinch as they tended to her wounds. No stitches were needed, just some Dermabond. She'll be good as new in a few days.

After Instacare, we went to Sonic for treats. Tyson said he felt like a daddy watching Rosie be hurt and worrying that things might go wrong. We bonded a lot tonight....and he kissed me on the cheek goodbye. What is up with this week and having people that I have had lengthy friendships with...suddenly have more than friendly feelings for? Tyson is yet another person I need to do some thinking about.

I'm not sure my heart/head can process so much information at this time. As we speak, I'm on the phone with Taylor...and I feel good things from him too. And I'm IMing Steve about our good times together. My life is a soap opera, but much cleaner. This is highly unusual. I need to figure things out....I don't want anyone to feel led on. I think my life is going manic again. I'm a bit scared.

John Mayer is tomorrow. How would it be to be there?

What a Weekend!

I don't think I can give a detailed account of the workings of this weekend...I got home at 6 am and am running on an hour of sleep. Here's the short version....

Sunday:
Church was excellent. Fast and Testimony Meeting, SS Lession on Ammon, and RS Lesson on Standing in Holy Places. The ward RS theme for the rest of the year is focused on feeling the love of Christ in our daily lives. The three part goal is:

Daily Personal Prayer
Daily Scripture Study
Standing in Holy Places

Sunday afternoon I had a family party at Grant and Hollie's...and I brought along a cute boy. Taylor and I had originally planned to attend a fireside, but when I heard about the barbeque, I jokingly asked if he would be interested....and he was! I was fully aware of the possible scandal talk that would ensue, but if there's any guy I know that I would take home to my family....Taylor is on the short list. We've only been out twice I think, and that was back in April. But he seemed to fit in with my family....almost too comfortably. When he put his arm around my shoulders, everyone's eyebrows raised. Hehehe. It was a fun dinner, I love having Taylor there and was sad that he could only stay two hours. He asked me out for Saturday. I'm excited *squeee!*

Monday:
Went out to breakfast with Steve. Strawberry stuffed french toast at IHOP. "Shut up, Honey!" We also played around with his guitar at his place, and I talked about how I wanted to buy a bass. We ended up pawn shop hopping, looking at basses. I was really tempted by a purple Ibanez, only $89. But it needed new strings. I still don't know if I can rationalize the purchase. But it was a very fun morning. Earlier in the week we'd had a talk about how he wanted to still hang out with me, but not on dates. Funny that I felt more sparks with him in the three or so hours we were together today than I had in months. Still suprised that he kissed me goodbye. Five months of friendship...and now this twist of fate. Time to contemplate this situation.

Went to Idaho with Dave. ROADTRIP!!! Good music, good conversation, good scenery. We talked a lot about our divorces and how we've coped. I cried listening to Matchbox Twenty with so many feelings close to the surface. I will do a MB20 post soon. We were going to eat at Big Jud's, but I got lost on the highway and couldn't find it. I ended up giving Dave a tour of BYU-Idaho. The Spori's all done now, and so is the Hinckley Building. And the hill is just splattered with married student housing. We ate at Gringos, soooo yummy. (and so many memories there!) We drove into IF, relaxed at Freeman Park by the river. Took a nice nap in the sun, and have a surburn to prove it. Texted Steve a little bit...it was wierd because part of me wanted to be with him. But Dave was a fun date. Fireworks were incredible!! 30 minutes of pure pyromaniacal splendor.

Traffic wasn't too terrible, but we were so tired that both of us had a hard time staying awake. Took turns driving, but it was a fight to stay on the road. Got to his apartment about 3 am...I crashed on his couch for a while to muster up some strength to drive home from Layton. Arrived in my bed just around 6 am. One hour of sleep. ZZZZZZZZ

Tuesday:
CIF and Credits, and Krystal Training. IDX was down for a while, so the team got to eat lunch together. Gave Karen the run-down on my weekend adventures.
Fought the sleepies all day long, but never fell asleep
Texted Kirk a bit. He's a hoot! Calls me the "amatuer"
Just finishing up this not-so-compact LJ. Time to get ready to see Bishop Peterson. I'm nervous.

Saturday in the Park....I think it was the 4th of July

I dropped Rosie off with Steve around noon. He decided to rent a car to take to Idaho because the beater Jetta was still not fixed. I feel better about him renting though, so he does't get stranded in a remote place like Arimo or something.

I went to Murray Park (via Noodles and Co. for Mushroom Stroganoff with steak) and enjoyed the music. There was a family doing bluegrass which was awesome. I hung out with the Moosebutter guys, and enjoyed their performance while selling their CDs with Courtenay (and I got a free teeshirt too!) Saw Bucket Brigade too.

I had plans for a double date with Chris from Logan. He was going to bring his friend Ryan, and I had Anna Berger come along. But as soon as I met him...I just had this wierd feeling. The first thing he said was..."We have two problems, we didn't reserve tickets for the show, and I lost her date." (the plan was to see "My Big Fat Utah Wedding" at Desert Star) We attempted a poly-date while trying to track down Ryan (dinner at Fuddruckers) but we couldn't ever find him. And Chris wanted to be apart of the Sandy parade as part of the Huntsman for Governer, but he was being a jerk to Anna...and I really had no desire to spend the next 6 hours with him to attend Stadium of Fire. So he took us back. I felt so lame for dragging Anna on this miserable adventure.

So I wasn't sure what to do for the evening. So I hopped on Mingle chat to fish around for something to do....

I knew about Peter B and Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband playing at Sugarhouse park, which was more interesting to me than Reba at Stadium of Fire. I called a few people with no luck, so I hopped into mingle chat to see if anyone was looking for something to do. I started whispering with yodysseus, who offered to accompany me to the park and fend off the wierdos. We had met previously at a mingle dinner at Chilis, but never got a chance to talk until this night.

We met at Sugarhouse Coffee, and got toasted salsa bagels. MMMM. Did the get to know you small talk...he's originally from Tennessee and his accent creeps out occasionally. It's quite cute. He goes to the U part time and works for Fox 13. He's divorced, has some kids, but seems quite content with his life right now. A good conversationalist, and great taste and diversity in music.

We sat on blankets, listened to Peter B and Ryan Shupe, saw some skydivers, and the Junction City Jazz Band. I realy love jazz and bluegrass, and Curtis was very knowledgeable on both music genres. We counted the stars (I said 18, he said 21 "plus the stars in your eyes") We enjoyed the fireworks display, which was much more impressive than the Usana show the night prior. After fireworks, we just snoozed in the blankets (not cuddling though) for an hour for the crowds and traffic to die down. We walked to his car which was closer, and he drove me to my car. A nice embrace in the parking lot, and he was on his way.

Rundown of Last Night

Last night was the first time I've seen Dan since I played fashion consultant for him last week, and the first time we've gone out since our breakup. (the real one!) I had originally asked Steve Best to go...let him know that I still value his friendship and get caught up...but he IM'd me the other night and said he'd changed his mind and wanted me to go with someone that I had more "interest" in. It kinda hurt, knowing that he thinks I'm only interested in furthering my social/love life. But I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable either.

So I asked Dan....and he accepted. We had dinner at Fazoli's, then headed the the Usana Ampitheater. We planned on doing the lawn seats, but when I was buying the tickets, they offered very close reserved seats for the same price. Better for the show, but the stage blocked the view for some of the fireworks. We came in as Nancy Hanson was performing. I soooo need to get some of her CDs! I ran into Mark Maughan and chatted with him for a few. He's so goofy, but he was saying how happy my dad made him (for installing a dish)

Eclipse peformed on this rickety sound stage. The audience area was mostly gravel and picnic tables. I was glad that I had a blanket to sit on. I was in the second row (behind Kirk and Shayne's fams......Ally is so cute!) Oh how I love seeing Eclipse live! Some of their show included....Live it on UP, Every Other Time, Coca-Cola Loser Auditions (including Dan doing a great Neil Diamond rendition) McDonalds Girl, Africa, Owner of A Lonely Heart, All My Life, a patriotic one (can't remember, I think it was God Bless America) Danny Boy, and Zoot Suit Riot. (sold the the girl in the second row!)

After the show I talked with the guys...they are all so friendly. I chatted the most with Brandon and Paul. Paul's little boy Ethan is sooooo adorable. He's got his daddy's gorgeous blue eyes (and Paul said to Ethan, "ahhh are you looking at her pretty eyes?") Dan seemed very impressed by Paul's sonic lip buzz. I did talk with Kirk for a brief moment. He was there is octoberrose from mingle (who I think he was at the Pearl Awards with) It's nice to be able to talk to him again without having a crush on him. LOL

We have very nice seats, and the show was AWESOME! Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Utah Symphony under the stars....how can you beat that? A few Mack Wilberg folk song arrangements, many patriotic pieces including a medley of the anthems to our armed forces (Army, Navy, Coast Guard, Air Force, Marines) as well as the Fanfare of the Champion (John WIlliams Olympic Theme) and BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC. The fireworks show had it's moments...most of the big stuff was behind the stage so I missed it...but it was still fun to have the music and fireworks simultaneously.

Traffic was horrid, took about 45 min to get on the road. Afterwards we picked up Rosie and Dan gave me a guitar/singing concert. He played Blackbird and the Bachelor Blues. But when he started playing WILD THING, YOU REALLY GOT ME, and GIVE A LITTLE LOVE TO ME....I had to wonder if he was just playing them....or if it was how he really felt. He held hands out to the car, and I kissed him on the cheek when he left. There were some heart flutters tonight indeed. *sigh*

Today I am selling CDs for Moosebutter, and going on a double date with Anna from work and Chris from Logan (met him from hotornot) Desert Star and Stadium of Fire. It's all good.

The Scenery is Here, Wish you were beautiful

Friday at work? Zero focus. I got some busy work done, but I was so wanting to be out the door with the earlier groups that headed up. The only things that kept me sane were my silly inquisitive calls to John at Target Optical. He cracks me up!Rosie got a ride to my mom's house with Lisa Dobbins. I went up in the car with Christine Crossley and Wendy Hall. We had wonderful conversations of hillarity, especially about bad dates and singles wards. I talked with John for a while (my eyes have lost weight!) We got to the cabin around 8:15 and had a delicious potluck dinner. I dined on junk food, gossiped with the ladies, enjoyed the lake view, played some get-to-know-you games, and had a heavenly pedicure.

Morning breakfast and devotional were wonderful. So many wonderful people in the ward, I got to know a few people I didn't know before. On the way back we stopped at LaBeaus for raspberry shakes and I got some homemade amaretto cherry fudge. Came home with Mandy Erb, Valerie Davidson, and Amy Thelin. And oogled over Kaden (what an adorable child!) I talked a lot about the history leading up to my divorce and a lot of the issues that I have dealt with, including my sleep problems and medication worries. They were very understanding and had some good insight.

When I got back into town, I went out to Justin's house. We watched "Pirates of the Carribbean." I hadn't ever seen it yet, but I definitely enjoyed it....especially Orlando Bloom. (although I'm not too sure about the pencil-thin facial hair) I was so sleepy from two consecutive nights of sleep and I fell asleep a few times, so I will have to watch it again when I'm not so tired. We also took a drive up to Donner Park and had a talk. I am feeling some hesitations about Justin, and he's having some about me. So we discussed that and we decided to pursue a friendship in lieu of a relationship. I am okay with that. I'm not sure I'm ready to settle down with exclusivity yet either. We decided against seeing the fireworks together, and coming back from his house I missed about half of the fireworks. I was sad.

Ended up having ice cream with John though. We started watching "Ghost" but I was too tired. I need to get back on a good bedtime schedule. I am such a zombie this morning.

Today we get a new bishopric. I need to get ready for church now.

Lunch, Dessert, and Smokin' Hot Fool

Saturday I took Emily out to Kneaders for a belated birthday lunch. Oh, how I love their turkey sandwiches on focaccia (with extra Kneaders sauce!) But even better than the food was the company. It's been so long since Em and I had some one on one talking time. (I think it was when we went to Benihana for my b-day) I got more of the Wahleecon rundown, update on the fam, heard her plans for her new place that she will be moving for Grad School. Wow...grad school. How cool is that? Here I am with my Humanities Associate Degree....and my best friend is working on her masters. I really need to figure out where I need to go with my education. Respiratory Therapy still sounds pretty good. I need to see what the U has to offer.

After Kneaders I took a quick jaunt to Old Navy to check out their rack. Nothin' too exciting, almost bought some funky flip-flops (that would have been called THONGS back in the day....) But then my phone rang. It was Ralin, who I feel like I haven't talked to in ages. Reception was terrible, so I went outside to my car to talk. Great gal, I need to hang out with her again.

For the afternoon, I met a new boy...Justin. He lives out in Riverton with four other bachelors in a pretty nice pad. First we played a little XBOX, Dead or Alive. I kicked Justin's hannah with Christie and her super-duper Egyptian pokey move. We had pizza and A&W (which Justin thinks is the only REAL root beer!) and watched a hillarious episode of Futurama.(About the lost city of Atlanta) Next we ventured to the foosball table, listened to a little Evanescence and I got my hannah kicked.

"Be Somebody, or Be Somebody's Fool" was a motivational video done by Mr. T back in the 80s. Holy Hannah....can we say hillarious? "I'm just waitin' for a gym to open on my corner." I laughed my socks off, so to speak (Justin jokes that he is single as a lost sock) I've SO got to get me a copy of that movie!. We also played a little pool. I am just about as bad at pool as at foosball, but it was plenty entertaining. Ah, the flirtation that can result in a game of pool. I once heard that it is a good game to check is someone's "goose is cooked." Too bad I scratched when trying to sink the 8 ball.

But here's the real dish on Justin. I was immediately taken by Justin. Not necessarily by looks (although he does have a cute babyface) but he has a very magnetic personality. Then we were watching Futurama, I was laying on the couch, with my feet up on his lap. He was rubbing them, it felt so nice. Then he put his arm up on the couch and kicked back (obviously because he wanted to put his arm around me!) It was quite comfortable. And he kept telling me how beautiful my voice was when I was singing along to Evanescence. When we were watching Mr. T, he had his arm around me again, getting smirks from his roommates. I caught him licking his lips, in that unconcious-type way. That's when I knew I'd caught his attention.

When we were playing pool, it was all about the flirtation. We kept distracting each other on our shots. He mentioned how he loves musicals, and was embarrased to disclose that. I was quite happy to hear it. His favorite show is Brigadoon. (he has such a great Scottish accent!) After about an hour of pool, I took a rest in the bean bag chair, and Justin joined me. We cuddled for a few minutes, and he asked, "may I kiss you?" Sometimes that question is very awkward (like hello! I've been flirting it up, don't you think I want to be kissed!!) But with him it was very respectful. And "holy hannah". What an incredible kisser. Very delicate and thoughtful, so much nicer than the awkward first kisses with Dan. And I loved how he seduced me in Italian. Very hot. He kept doing this little eye-rolling thing and groan, telling me that I was smokin' hot. The only somewhat awkward moment was when he grabbed by butt. I totally froze up. He could tell how uncomfortable I was by it. Earlier he told me how he was checking me out while playing pool, and I figured it was all talk. Guess it was good enough to want a piece. So...other than that....I had such a wonderful time.

Feeling like an absolute jerk

I've always felt like I'm a loyal friend. I have a very hard time giving people up and letting them go on with their lives when circumstances change. This would explain why I have such a large circle of friends and acquaintances. I can be away from a friend for a year...and pick up a conversation out of the dust that feels like no time has passed. Free-spirited, and craving opportunities to meet new people for mutual life enhancement. Chalk it up to being Aquarian, I suppose. But I realize that not all people are like this.

I just read an LJ entry from my friend...let's call him "jailbait." He came into my life at a somewhat lonely, and significantly more confused time in my life. He is a great friend, generous, complimentary, excellent listener and advice giver (although I didn't always TAKE his advice to heart.) We've had some very great times together in the last few months. However, his romantic interest in me did not reciprocate. There were some awkward moments when I had played up the flirtation and he got the "I am ready to kiss you" look in his eye. We never did kiss, but there were plentiful hugs and tickle wars on his couch (that we joke that I "used" him for) But in the last month (which consequently is the same month that Dan took up the majority of my time and thoughts) I haven't been there for him like I once was. Not that I don't enjoy him any less, I just had my focus elsewhere. The last time were were together, we went to a star show at the Clark Planetarium. He was an absolute grumpster that night. He kind of disappeared at the time I disappeared to pursue Dan. In his LJ entry, he was pretty fed up about me.

"...well, she just hasn't been as good of a friend as I had hoped she would be...she never did take a real interest in me..but...she's cool anyways...i'm much more strait talking now then I ever have been...kind of just telling people the way things really are...like w/ my "friend" NP...i told her the other day that I had just assumed that we had reached that point where we had drifted apart and going our seperate ways...as friends that don't make an effort sometimes do...and as sad as that is, you know...I don't need friendships where I'm the only one that is making an effort...so...I let them go that way..."

I suppose I was selfish, lapping up the attention he so willingly gave. I thought he felt like I was giving something back too...there were times we cried together for how thankful we were to have each other apart of our lives. I don't want him to feel like I am used him, but maybe I did. I'm sorry that I haven't been for him what he had hoped I would be. I hope he knows that I wasn't just trying to "fake being a friend." I don't know if he will be willing to accept overdue friendship fees.

*sigh*

Astrological Musings

I've never been much into astrology, but at dinner last night, Gary and I were talking about it a bit. He is a Virgo. And I just busted up laughing. What's up with me attracting Virgos? Alan's a Virgo....Steve's a Virgo.....Tim's a Virgo...Dan's a Virgo...and now Gary? I decided to do a little research on the Aquarius/Virgo relationship..... (remember, this is just for entertainment purposes!)

"On their first meeting Aquarians see Virgoans as someone who thinks like they do, in an analytical way and they find that a nice surprise. Virgoans see Aquarians in a similar way and appreciate their friendly manner. Aquarians find Virgoans have an independent nature much like their own and are easy to be friends with. Virgoans find Aquarians different to other people but sociable, someone to have an interesting time with. Neither sign has the need for an emotional relationship but this doesn't mean there won't be an attraction between them.

Aquarians want to be free to make friends with everyone and Virgoans need order in their lives. This combination is almost impossible but if both have planets like Venus (love), Mars (desires), the Moon (emotions) and Mercury (mentality) in other more compatible signs this match can work. If not it may be that the Aquarian feels too restricted by routine and decides to go off on their own leaving the Virgoan to sort out the mess left behind. This relationship will always be difficult but if they are prepared to work at it Aquarians can learn to be a bit more organised and Virgoans can learn that being perfect isn't always best."(http://www.astralarts.com/virrel.html)

This partnership unites two spirits with very different approaches to life and not a lot in common. Simple understanding, let alone sympathy, may be awfully hard to find between these two. Aquarius, the ingenious idealist, the experimenter and risk-taker, and the futuristic humanitarian works in his fashion to improve life for masses of humanity -- even generations he will never live to see. Virgo is fixed on providing work and service today for people who can benefit from his special talents and skills now.
(http://www.enchantedspirit.org/Astrology/Compatibility/AquariusVirgo.php)

What do you think? Destined for failure? If I ever get married again, it will probably be a Virgo.

(postscript 3/29/09 Taylor's a Virgo. LOL)

Destined to NOT be a ZOMBIE

Today is the sleepiest I've been on a workday in ages. I have two explanations. One is that I haven't been taking one of my meds to keep me awake during the day. I'm in prescription stimulant withdrawl. I have my sleep oximitery test tonight. Had to take a long lunch to drive to Alta View Hospital sleep lab to pick up the machine. I'll have to use PTO this week. GRRRR

The other reason is that right after my head hit the pillow last night, my cell phone rang. I toyed with the idea of leting it be and just attempting to sleep, but I was not tired enough to sleep as "Robotica" (my ring tone) pulsed and vibrated next to my feet. I answered the phone and it was Tim Fritz. About 10 seconds into the conversation my smoke alarm beeped. It has been beeping anywhere from every 3 minutes to every hour since February. Yes, I know that I could have avoided a lot of insanity-causing sound effects had I just gone to the neighbor's house and borrowed a ladder (It was on my vaulted ceiling, not quite low enough to use a chair)

SO anyways...Fritz insisted on a after-midnight maintenence run to fix my smoke alarm. Kinda silly to be the damsel in auditory-distress, rescued by a mechanically-minded hotty. He has complained everytime that I have talked to him about his annoyance of the beeping. So now I can rest easy, and he won't have to complain when he calls me. Funny that he decided to show up at 1 am.

So...that said...once I actually fell asleep, I was out like a log. With no beeping. Just only got 5 hours of sleep. Goin' to bed early tonight with the pusle-ox in my finger. If any of you catch me up past 10 pm tonight....scold me and send my to my bedroom.

Current Mood: content
Current Music: Avril Lavigne, The BEEEESS, Black-Eyed Peas, Eclipse

Just Another Manic Monday

Such an eventful weekend, and such a lame day at work. I will just put a few highlights from the last few days..

Friday: Orem Summerfest with Dan. "And she's shopping at Seven-Ele-uh-ven" Missed all but the last song from Moosebutter, but I chatted with Tim and he hooked me up with a new copy of See Dee. Jon Schmidt, Nancy Hansen, and Peter Breinholt were great. Dan and I enjoyed ourselves muchly. Afterwards I introduced him the the Brick Oven. MMMMMMMMM

Satuday: Hiked in Adams Canyon with Dan. Didn't make it to the waterfall, but did enjoy sitting on the rock in the middle of the stream, splashing Dan and enjoying the scenery. Would have liked to stay longer, but wanted to catch Peter B at Eagle Mountain. Began the concert in the back of the crowd, and with the poor sound quality I was not enjoying myself as much as the typical Peter B show. But Rosie and I ran into Leslie Allard up by the stage, and we ended up chillin' together for a while. I also ran into Aaron Ganz and Jake Lambson with their ladies. Fun to get caught up. Scary moment of the night was losing Rosie. Had the Sheriffs do a CODE ADAM and were able to find her. Scared the heck out of me. Left early, but did catch some of the fireworks.

Sunday: Slept in (HEAVEN!) Church was great. I sang in Sacrament Meeting, which was wonderful. Gospel Doctrine was Alma 5. Talk about a pierce you in the heart chapter. But everytime I read it, I am inspired to do better. I want to have His image in my countenance. And RS was about the Priesthood. So powerful.

Was having a craving for chocolate "crisp" cookies, so I made a couple batches. Dan wanted to come over, so I figured I should make an attempt at seeming domesticated (a la Stepford Wives) In waiting for Dan, I had an impromptu visit from the cute bookstore boy. He ate my cookies and exploited my couch. But I forgive him, because he's (in the words of Emily) "just so pretty." Watched a very hillarious episode on Cartoon Network about spanking. ROFLMBO Then Dan came and we watched "The Sixth Sense." Went narcoleptic on him, but it's all his fault for being so darn comfy. Three days in a row with him. Guess we're not so broken up anymore. He wants me to play fashion consultant for him this week. Old Navy and Chik-Fil-A date....fun fun.

Today: New update of IDX. It is completely inefficient.All of my favorite "ACTION" codes have been deleted. Wasted half my morning on failed batches and CIF's that could only be partially completed. But on the upside, got to eat BTS cake for Heidi's b-day. Mentioned it to Dan, and got a SAUCY email back from him. Thus, focus lost for the rest of the workday. Listened to the DMB mix CD Dan gave me today.(it was a half-eared attempt) and started reading The Stepford Wives (which Dan also gave me :) That boy just treats me so darn sweetly.

Just got an IM from Michael (mdw_hedger) He's getting married August 18th. Funny that the last time I talked to him, he was itchin' for a little lip. But I'm happy for him. As he would say, "good on ya!"

Ok....gonna take a break and pull some stinky weeds.

The Fiction, The Romance, and The Technicolor Dreams

The un-Readers Digest Version of Today: Woke up around 7:10...threw clothes on Rosie and myself. "Worked" 3 hours today, but it wasn't much work. The cubicles were being torn down and rearranged to accommodate the new employees for our Urban Central Psych providers. Now Natalie will sit by me. Hehe. So for the first hour I was moving stuff on my desk to accommodate them ripping my desk apart piece by piece. Since our computers were down, the team bummed around for an hour or so until we could leave for the summer party. I talked to Gina, whose ex-husband got in a motorcycle accident yesterday. He is on life support, things don't look up for him. She went to a psychic a few weeks ago, and was told a funeral would be coming up. She is freaked.

I stopped by the post office to pick up the certified letter. It was from the towing company that took Steve's car when he totalled it two weeks ago. Since my name is still on the title, I guess that I can be held liable for the towing and impound charges. Steve assures me that the insurance will take care of it, but I need to make sure I stay on top of it.

The A/R management summer party was at the Triple D Ranch. (TRIPLE D??????) Warm, sunny, and very windy. Yummy lunch, hayride with Rosie, and even a bit of a display from a few drunk lesbians. Texted Dan many times. And won Hale Center Theater tickets in Bingo! (traded them from a golf game)

Did a little shopping. Bought some new capris and a few shirts (the best one is yellow, with FRESLY SQUEEZED in green across the front) I just love the Old Navy clearance rack.....

So now I'm home....IMing Dan.

Listened to a lot of MB20 today. MMMMM Rob Thomas. I think I agree with Ralin about the healing effects of his voice. She and I need to go on a concert roadtrip and drool over him. The night Dan and I went to the comedy club, we listened to MB20 on the way home. I told him about how I feel like what is described in Hand Me Down. And he just held me. Everytime I've listened to the song since I think of that....

Someday they’ll find your small town world on a big town avenue
Gonna make you like the way they talk when they’re talking to you
Gonna make you break out of the shell cause they tell you to
Gonna make you like the way they lie better than the truth
They’ll tell you everything you wanted someone else to say
They’re gonna break your heart, yeah

From what I’ve seen
You’re just a one more hand me down
Cause no one’s tried to give you what you need
So lay all your troubles down
I am with you now

Somebody ought to take you in
Try to make you love again
Try to make you like the way they feel
When they’re under your skin
Never once did think they’d lie when they’re holding you
You wonder why they haven’t called
When they said they’d call you
You start to wonder if you’re ever gonna make it by
You’ll start to think you were born blind

I’m here for the hard times
The straight to your heart times
Whenever it ain’t easy
You can stand up against me
And maybe rely on me
And cry on me, yeah
Oh no, no, no

Some day they’ll open up your world
Shake it down on a drawing board
Do their best to change you
They still can’t erase you
Lay them down on me
Oh yeah
You’re just one more hand me down
And all those nots don’t give you what you need
So lay all your troubles down...on me (Hand Me Down, Matchbox 20)

Say Goodbye
Dan posted an LJ entry about me today. I've got him quoting lyrics too..

So here we are tonight, you and me together
The storm outside, the fire is bright
And in your eyes I see what’s on my mind
You’ve got me wild, turned around inside
And then desire, see, is creeping up heavy inside here
And do you feel the same way as I do now
Now let’s make this an evening
Lovers for a night, lovers for tonight
Stay here with me, love, tonight
Just for an evening
When we make our passion pictures
You and me twist up as secret creatures
And we’ll stay here
Tomorrow go back to being friends

Go back to being friends, but tonight let’s be lovers, we kiss and sweat
We’ll turn this better thing
To the best
Of all we can offer, just a rogue kiss
Tangled tongues and lips,
See me this way
I’m turning and turning for you
Girl, just tonight

"Say Goodbye" - DMB