My numbers blog...

Current mood: frustrated

What do the numbers 22, 55, 57, 215, 80, 210, 10, 60, 170, 101, 110, 5, 134, and 405 have in common?

That's all of the freeways I've driven on today. (blech)

What is significant about $158?

Thats how much I've spent just today on filling gas tanks and paying for my Long Beach rental car.

Which two friends willingly came to my rescue today?

Jeanne and Leslie

How many hours of sleep did I get last night?

2.5 hours

How many minutes between the moment I jumped out of bed to leave for the airport and when my flight took off?

63 minutes

I usually don't use blogs to vent, just to update others on my life. But I really feel like I've gotta vent. These last 24 hours have been terrible. I've called a few friends and left messages to get a little support, but nobody's called back. Taylor is already in bed, none of my good friends are in IM now. I'm feeling isolated and like I'm going to burst. It's funny for me to say that I'm so frustrated right now, because yesterday I was basking in the happiness of an absolutely fabulous week in Utah and Idaho. I'll blog about the fun later and post some pics.

Now just as a disclaimer, any named names are just for reference...I'm not writing this blog just to point blame on people. I understand that life is crazy, and you can't plan everything ahead of time. I'm usually pretty easygoing if someone will have to fall through with a commitment. I just am not used to so many falling through at once. Especially when pregnant (my intended ride is, not me) And when you find out you're in a pickle later than it's socially acceptable to call around for help...your options can be very limited. That's why I feel like I'm nearing my breaking point.

So I called around numorus taxi and shuttle companies, and the cheapest ride from Long Beach to La Verne was $85, plus extra for Rosie. I looked on dozens of websites until I found a rental for $60. JB agreed to help me return the rental during the evening, so I went for it...even though it was still more expensive than I could afford.

Then I had to find a sitter to watch Rosie while I go to work. Her summer daycare doesn't start until next week, so for the rest of the week we're scrambling for help. I called everyone in my cell phone contacts to see who could help. Rosie went over to Leslie's house for the day, and I headed off to work.

Work was okay...I little boring and hard to get into. But I survived.

In the evening, I picked up JB and Rosie to help drop off the rental. Unfortunately, we'd only been communicating through texts, and I didn't know that she was meeting a group of friends later in the evening. Instead of a quick 45 min each way to Long Beach, we drove up to Burbank/North Hollywood to meet up for a gathering in Canoga Park. Three hours later...I just barely got home.

I have a splitting headache too. My vision is getting blurry. Time for bed. Hopefully I'll wake up on the right side of it tomorrow.

Currently listening : It Won't Be Soon Before Long By Maroon 5 Release date: 22 May, 2007

My concert addiction

Current mood: nostalgic

If anyone knows me well, I've always been a concert junkie. Ever since I first saw New Kids On The Block at the Memorial Coloseum in Portland in 1991, I was hooked. As a teenager, I always wanted to go to concerts, especially pop-alternative groups. In fact, once I had a #2 wristband for Duran Duran, but my parents wouldn't take me and I couldn't find anyone to go with (this was about a month after I moved to Utah.) Those seats would have been awesome!

The next concert I went to was in 1997 for U2's Popmart Tour. It was at the old Rice Stadium at the UofU. That concert was great! I went with so many cool people, and the showmanship and music was incredible! I thought that show could never been beaten in excitement, and to date it's still one of my favorite concerts.

Sometimes people ask me all the concerts I've been to, so here's a list off the top of my head. I've excluded the opening acts and local/LDS performers because the list would be infinitely longer, unless their show was terribly awesome or influential:

NKOTB 1991

U2 1997, 2005

Savage Garden 1997

Lilith Fair 1998 (Sarah McLachlan, Paula Cole, Cowboy Junkies, Lisa Loeb, etc)

Weird Al Yankovich 1999

Chicago 2000

They Might Be Giants 2000

Sarah McLachlan 1998, 2004 (the night Taylor decided he wanted to marry me)

Barenaked Ladies 2002, 2004

Sugar Ray 2003

Matchbox Twenty 2003

Dixie Chicks 2003?

Butterfly Boucher 2004 (twice)

Sting 2005

Depeche Mode 2005

Howard Jones 2005

Howie Day 2004, 2005

Michelle Branch 2004

Maroon5 2004

Kelly Clarkson 2004, 2006 (Rosie's first concert)

John Mayer 2004, 2006, 2007

Keane 2006, 2007

Rob Thomas 2005

Anna Nalick 2005

Missy Higgins 2005 (an Aussie, one of the best undiscovered talents EVER)

I know there are more that I am missing, but this is just the big name concerts I've been to. I'm sure I've been to at least 50 smaller-name concerts and local-type shows. I'm always up for a show, so if you get extra tickets or want someone to go with, give me a holla!

But the reason I wrote this blog was to write about my adventure with Lizzie last weekend for the John Mayer/Ben Folds/Rocco DeLuca concert at the Hollywood Bowl. I purchased the tickets in March to go with Taylor, but it didn't work out for him to go since he's neck-deep in training at Jet U. So Lizzie and I went, and by the advice of a coworker, we went to Pasadena to the stop for the BowlBus Shuttle. I was told about the madness of the Bowl traffic and parking, so we thought we'd be responsible and economical and take the shuttle. Unfortunately, I read the website wrong and we missed the last shuttle. We had to drive to Hollywood anyway. We drove for almost two hours looking for a parking spot, and the cheapest one was $30 almost 2 miles away. We didn't have anough cash on us to park at most places. So we drove around and around and got hit on by this Haitian Rapper in his funky van, waved to a Raider in a limo (I can't remember his him right off), had a few near-death experiences on Cahuenga, and minute by minute missed more of the show. We finally got in touch with Lizzie's cousin Patrick who lives in Hollywood. He saved the day by letting us park at his place, and then dropping us off at the show. By the time we got seated, it was 9:45, and John Mayer was 2/3 through his set. We'd missed Rocco and Ben Folds entirely

But the songs we did catch were awesome (Dreaming with a Broken Heart, Why Georgia, Waiting on the World, Stop this Train, Vultures,Slow Dancing in a Burning Room, Gravity, and I'm Gonna Find Another You) I wasn't too broken up about missing the rest of John's show since I saw him less than a year ago when Continuum came out. I was however, very very bummed to miss Ben Folds. He doesn't tour very much, so that was my only downside to the night.

I have to say, though...Lizzie makes every situation enjoyable. Even though we missed so much of the concert, we jammed to some good tunes, laughed at the hillarity of the other people madly trying to find parking, and we had fun grabbing hot chocolate with Patrick after the show. I was so tired after it all, that Lizzie drove home and I crashed on her couch.

It's nights like this I'll never forget!

Currently listening : More Than You Think You Are By Matchbox Twenty Release date: 19 November, 2002

So tired, but I can't sleep

Current mood: drained

So it's 3:00 am, I've only gotten 3.5 hours of sleep and I know I'm completely exhausted...but I can't sleep. This has been the case since early April. Some nights I sleep okay...4-6 hours. But usually I wake up multiple times and feel groggy during the day. I saw the sleep specialist last week, who agreed that I need another polysomnography test. I'm waiting on the pre-auth from my insurance.

I'm not sure my exhaustion is just from lack of sleep. Responsibilities at work have increased, I started school last week, I've had a lot of church obligations, and I miss Taylor terribly. Since my asthma attack a few weeks ago, my energy level has plummeted. I don't have the energy to make a full hour of cardio at the gym anymore....20 min is pushing it. I've gained back 7 pounds this month, due to lack of exercise, overeating, and steroids.

Taylor's interview date with Pinnacle has been pushed back a few weeks, so it looks like he'll be in FL until early June. It's still unclear how long he'll have between his interview and his start date in Memphis. I hope we get a week or so, but there are no promises. He'll be in Memphis for two months, then on reserve in Detroit. This year is really going to suck. I wish his flight benefits kicked in sooner so we could see each other more often. Distance has definitely made the heart grow fonder.

I'm feeling a little under-sympathized than I'd hoped at this point. Right when Taylor left, neighbors, friends, and ward members were clammoring to help me. (Babysitting, dinners, etc...) I wasn't that lonely at first, and I was holding up really well. Now that I'm lonely and worn out, I have a really hard time figuring out help with Rosie. Now that I'm in school, I feel like my life is overly scheduled out everyday and I don't get a chance for ALONE time very often. Just about everywhere I go, Rosie goes too. Last night I really wanted to go to a movie by myself, just to get out and enjoy myself....but I couldn't find anyone to watch Rosie. Tonight I'm going to a concert and I can't find any help either. It's hard, since I won't be getting home from Hollywood until 2ish am....and a sleepover really would work better. But since tomorrow's Sunday, a lot of people have a no-sleepover rule for Saturday nights in my ward. I feel like I've over-extended Eleanor with watching Rosie 1-2 times a week. I just don't want people to feel put out...even though Rosie is super-easy to take care of.

I know this too shall pass, but for now I'm struggling a lot. Rosie has been a great help for me not to miss Taylor so much...but I can only handle so much kid-time and kid-activities. I love her to bits, but I'm deep down a person who needs a lot of alone time to refresh and renew myself for my self-imposed overly busy life. Taylor is always telling me to cut out something, but I feel the need to fill up my life even more to not miss him. It is not good that man/woman should be alone.

If any of you are feeling sympathy, let me know if you are willing to help. It seems like my only alone time is from 5-6 pm, from when I get off work until I pick up Rosie from daycare....but most of the time is in the car to just commute home. I'm a go places/do things kinda girl, and I'm usually not content to just stay home every night.

I'll be fine. I know it will....eventually.

Currently listening : Continuum By John Mayer Release date: 12 September, 2006

Tucson...it's a small world after all

I've been trying to sell my Honda Fit for a few weeks. I posted it in a few websites, put signs in the windows, and have been generally promoting it since mid-April. I was getting frustrated that I hadn't had any luck for nearly 6 weeks. I hadn't tried eBay motors because I was under the impression that eBay would take a percentage of the purchase price. But once I knew Taylor was coming home for a few days and could car shop with me, I looked into posting on eBay motors.

Once I logged on, I realized that it was a flat fee to post, and another fee at auction end. Since it was affordable, I posted my car at the beginning of last week. I had a bunch of hits and watchers, but no bids. The night before the auction ended, I got a call from Al in Tucson. He said that he wanted to suprise his wife and buy her a Fit. They had seen one on the road a few days prior, and she immediately fell in love with it. All of the Tucson and Phoenix-area Honda dealerships said it was still a month waiting list and a big market mark-up fee. He was waiting to hear back on financing, but agreed to purchase the car at my Buy It Now price.

The next day he called me to say that his financing was pre-approved, and he wanted to move forward with the transaction. As an afterthought, I mentioned that I was willing to drive the car to Tucson over the weekend so he could have the car asap...as long as he paid my travel expenses. He agreed to do so, and I planned all my travel. Even though the transaction was potentially risky, I had a feeling that I needed to go on faith and everything would work out. Talking to Al on the phone was as fun as talking to a girlfriend. He's a head coach and college sports recruiter, a real jokester, and he plays off my sense of humor perfectly.

I left around 6:45 this morning, had a few stops along the way, and arrived in Tucson around 2:00. I drove to his house, met his wife and kids, and filled out the bills of sale. As I walked into their house, there was a painting on the wall that I used to have a print of a few years ago. We thought it was so funny that we would have the same picture. He wanted to get to know me a little, so I talked about where I've lived, what I do for work, etc... I mentioned that I went to college at Ricks. Al started laughing and said he'd been there recruiting before....then he said that he was LDS too...just not currenly active. How odd is it that a total stranger on eBay would be LDS and have so much in common with me?? The similarities kept happening, which helped me feel good about the transaction.

The funniest thing was how Al told his wife that he was getting her the car she coveted. He took her to a nice restauarant and said "I have a confession to make. I met a woman online named Nicole. She has something that I really want, and she's coming to Tucson to give it to me this weekend." He kept playing off the story for about a half hour, as his wife got more and more furious. Then he fessed up...Nicole was coming to deliver the Fit, which would be her new car. She was slightly excited but still mad that Al led her on. Apparently, she didn't believe that I was coming until I called to say that I was a few miles from their exit to drop it off. That would explain why she took a while to open up to me once I arrived

After all the paperwork was filled out, we went to dinner at a place called Las Margaritas. Then they treated me to the Tucson phenomenon called Egees. They have delicious fruity slushies. I enjoyed it immensely. After dinner they dropped me off at the airport for pick up rental car, I checked into my hotel (Marriott...nice!) and relaxed for a while.

Since he gave me $250 cash to cover my expenses, and I ended up breaking even on the car....Taylor and I decided we could afford a laptop since I started school this week. I shopped around at a few electronic stores and found a basic-ish laptop at a decent price. I don't need a lot of frills, and this one fit the bill. So here I am, blogging away from my hotel room in Tucson. I will have most of the day to sightsee tomorrow, then I'll fly home in the late afternoon.

Currently listening : X&Y By Coldplay Release date: 07 June, 2005

Albuterol Jitters

This morning I was in urgent care for a few hours with an asthma attack. It took two nebulizer treatments and a shot in the butt of steriods to get my breathing calmed down. I still have chest pain, jitteriness from the albuterol, a headache and bodyaches, and an ear infection. The doc told me to stay off work for two days, but I think I'll still go in for at least part of tomorrow.

With my health history of lung failure, I get pretty scared when I have severe asthma attacks. I was so short of breath that I could barely drive the 25 minutes to the only urgent care my HMO covers. I've been asthma-symptom-free since 2004, so it worries me that I've been having symptoms the last week. I'm trying to get a pulmonary/sleep medicine referral through with my PCP. Two months of sleeplessness has brought this immune system down, no doubt.

It's one thing to get scary-sick....it's another to have it happen when your husband is across the country. He needs sympathy too...his car got broken into last night. Grr.

So if any of you want to send me get well wishes, or come to my house and wait on me hand and foot...by my guest.

Goin' Back to School

Going Back to School
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

In the last few weeks, I've decided that it's time to continue my education. I have my associate degree in Humanities, but only have taken 6 credits beyond my AA. Taylor will be finishing up school this summer, and it's time for my education to meet my experience. I'm going to attend WGU online for a BS in Business Management. I will probably do a healthcare admin add-on as soon as it's available. This is a copy of the entrance essay I just completed:

Western Governors University Entrance Essay

As we mature, our attitudes often change, and we learn to view things differently. Think about an important change in your attitude toward a person, a group of people, or a set of ideas, values or traditions.

Write an essay in which you contrast your earlier attitude with the attitude you now hold. Explain why the change has taken place.

When I was a child in elementary school, my least favorite subject was physical education. My P.E. teacher was always in a bad mood, favored the boys, and criticized me for being non-athletic. I grew up in an overweight family that went on an occasional walk on sunny, Oregon days; however, exercise was a chore and I tried to avoid it whenever possible.

I have struggled with my weight since my childhood. Our family would eat large, calorie-laden meals, with heaping bowls of ice cream for dessert. I was teased incessantly for my chubby appearance and cellulite. I became a yo-yo dieter for the next 15 years.

In 2000, I had some massive medical complications after the delivery of my child. My daughter was normal and healthy, but my illness (lung failure with sepsis) was further complicated by my obesity. It was a multi-year process to regain full strength and health. I changed my eating habits, and increased my activity slightly.

Unfortunately, my weight and stress-level always correlated with each other. If I was hungry or lonely or bored, I'd walk to the kitchen for momentary satisfaction. After a period of uninsured-unemployment last year, my weight skyrocketed even higher than I could have ever imagined. I began to experience pre-diabetic symptoms, was lethargic, and had very low self-image. I looked in the mirror and hardly recognized myself.

But instead of using the stress in my life as an excuse, I decided to take a proactive approach to my health. I joined Weight Watchers, signed up with a gym, and began to dedicate my time and energy into becoming the healthy and happy person I always imagined myself to be.

As I diversified my exercise routines and ate correctly, the weight started to come off. I traded around elliptical trainer, weights, treadmill, swimming, hiking, and yoga. My results encouraged me to push myself harder physically. I began to feel the benefits of exercise-induced endorphins, and it felt great! With each step I've taken towards wellness, other areas of my life have fallen into place. At this point, I've lost 35 pounds and become a self-proclaimed fitness nut. I have become more organized in my professional and personal life, and have made new goals for myself, such as finishing my bachelor degree.

I look back at the terrible health habits I grew up with, and can see the early steps taken towards poor health. But my success hasn't just been for myself, it has been for my family. I am the mother of a beautiful six-year-old girl, with the "fat genes" on both sides of the family. I have been able to foster a love for fruits, veggies, grains, and physical activity in her. I encourge her with positivity in healthy eating and lots of physical activity. It is my goal to not only improve my life and health, but to instill these healthy behaviors in her. I hope she never has the self-image issues I faced, and still face from years of dealing with an ugly self-image. I am so happy that I have risen from the poor health habits of my past, and become a more healthy and happy person through the process.

Currently listening: Eyes Open By Snow Patrol Release date: 09 May, 2006

Florida trip, take two...

Current mood: happy

Sunday morning we slept in, ate some yogurt and granola bars at the dorms, then headed to church. We attended the Coral Springs Ward. The bishop was really nice, and being from Santa Monica, laughed when we said we were from LA. He said "La Verne is NOT LA!" The most interesting part of sacrament meeting was a black convert to the church, who had just returned from serving a mission in Africa. He gave a really short talk, and then had the whole congregation sing all 5 verses of his favorite hymn a'cappella.

We had lunch at a place by the FXE called Moe's, which is basically a Café Rio/Baja Fresh clone. I had a DELICIOUS veggie quesadilla. The day was very rainy, so we decided that the everglades boat ride was out of the question. We went to Sawgrass Mills, a gigantic mall in Sunrise, to take Rosie to Wannado City. This place is a theme park for kids, where they learn about careers they'll "wanna do" when they grow up. The admission wasn't terrible because parents are included in the kids admission. You are assigned a security bracelet with a tracking device. If you get separated from your party, there are kiosks all over the City that you can scan your device and see where everyone in your group is at. There were so many different careers that Rosie tried out….nurse, dentist, pilot, jeweler, model, environmentalist, dance club DJ, and talent for a Cartoon Network tv show. She was in heaven! Until now, she had said that she wants to be an artist and a model when she grows up. Now she says she wants to be a nurse that takes care of newborn babies.

We had dinner at Bennigans, an Irish bar and grill. Taylor and I split the SW sampler and a steak fajita salad. It was really yummy, and the restaurant had a nice, laidback atmosphere. The dessert menus looked soooo good…but we refrained from ordering. We went back to the dorms and spent some time as a family before heading to bed.

On Monday, Taylor had to go back to class. He was lucky enough to get a few days away from class for studying for a test. So when he had spent the whole time playing with us for the weekend, he was sure that he'd bomb the test. To his surprise…the test was cancelled! The subject matter was really out of context with what had been taught to date, so that specific test will be given in a few weeks. While Taylor was in class, Rosie and I went over to 24 Hour Fitness so I could do water aerobics. This teacher was a control freak! When I asked for the hand buoys before she was ready she barked at me. She was an intense teacher, but it felt great to be challenged more than usual.

After 24Aqua, Rosie and I headed out to the Everglades, which was about a 30 minute drive. We went on a flat-bottomed airboat ride. The day was pretty chilly, especially with the windchill of the boat on the water. We sped through the Sawgrass and learned about the history of south Florida and the Everglades. When we got back to land, they had an endangered species park with alligators, tortoises, mountain lion, jaguar, birds, and other species. Rosie and I got to hold a baby alligator! We took lots of pictures there.

After the Everglades, we went a few miles south to Flamingo Gardens, a wildlife sanctuary. We saw a live show with some rehabilitated animals (king snake, alligator, vulture, opossum, etc) and then toured the park. Rosie was in heaven with all of the birds eating out of her hand. Peacocks were roaming free, and we caught a few with their tail fronds fully extended. The flamingos were gorgeous, and Rosie was excited to finally see a real flamingo. We had lunch, then met back up with Taylor after class. We went back to Ft. Lauderdale beach, but it was high tide, and there was a big storm rolling in. We played in the water a little bit, but it wasn't as fun as Friday because the undertoe was so strong. I got sucked in a few times and tumbled in the waves. We only stayed for about 45 minutes. We left to find a place for dinner. We were in the mood for some pizza, so we stopped at a PIZZA place called Shucks. When we were ready to order, they told us that they don't serve pizza on Mondays. We shared a wrap and some really delicious 3-cheese chicken pasta. Monday night was spent cleaning out the car, doing laundry, getting packed up, and savoring every minute we had together.

Tuesday morning Taylor came into the room early to cuddle and talk for a while. The reality of how long it would be until we saw each other set in, and was really sad. Taylor left for class, Rosie and I packed and had some breakfast. Rob Zender, our old neighbor from Utah took us to the airport. His wife Heidi and their baby Elizabeth flew in that morning, so we picked them up from the airport, dropped off our bags with the Skycap, and went out to lunch in the Las Olas area. We ate at a little Paris bistro that was what I'd imagine a real café in Paris would be like. I got a chicken salad plate, Rosie got a croissant with brie and turkey. And Zenders treated us to Bananas Foster for dessert. We drove back to the airport, bought a few souvenirs, and boarded the plane.

The two hour flight to Atlanta was a snap. Snacks, good tv shows on the plane to watch, and Rosie was in good spirits. The Atlanta airport was HUGE. We had a three hour layover that we thought would drag by so long. But we took the tram around to different terminals, did some window shopping, grabbed some dinner, and it was almost time to board the plane. The in-flight movie was "The Holiday" which I liked pretty well. Rosie was a bit bored on the 4.5 hour flight, and complained more on this flight than any other point of the trip. But she listened to music and colored, and we eventually made it home. Gary picked us up from the airport, and we went home. As nice as the vacation was, it sure was nice to sleep in my own bed!

Currently listening : Music and Lyrics By Hugh Grant Release date: 13 February, 2007

Buddha's Delight, 5k and Honolulu Harry's

A few people have commented on my profile song, Buddha's Delight. It's the song that's been stuck in my head all week, and it's on the "Music and Lyrics" soundtrack. It makes me laugh everytime I hear it. It's a parody of Britney Spears' "Toxic."

I completed my first 5k this morning, running approx 1/3 of the race. My time wasn't stellar (54:14) but for my first 5k I'm proud that I made it through. I used it as more of a social walking time to chat with my WW buddies. I was greeted at the finish line by the cartoonish LA County Fair mascots, a horse, cow, and pig...who gave me a high five and I ran through the finish line. I am sore, but empowered. Take that, Dr. Tello!

After the race, I grabbed a pineapple smoothie at Podge's, discovered a cool little thrift store in old town La Verne, ran some errands, watched a few things off my tivo, went to an Open House for a family in our ward that is moving, and helped Rosie go through a bunch of clothes to donate or sell.

I went out to dinner with Liz and some of their friends to celebrate Emily's b-day at Honolulu Harry's (which is owned by Dr. Lally). I met a lot of new, fun people, had some excellent food, showed off my Florida pics, Rosie entertained the crowd, and I had an all-around good time.

All in all, it's been a good day. I'm going to take my motrin and go to bed.

Florida Vacation Details

Current mood: content

Thursday I had to work a few hours at Chino Valley for the Emergency Department meeting. Afterwards, Melissa picked me up from the hospital and dropped Rosie and I off at Ontario Airport. I had done the internet check-in before I left work, but it ended up making it harder to check our bags. Luckily the Delta terminal line was pretty short. Rosie and I shared a smoothie and chicken chipotle salad in the airport before getting on the plane. The flight to SLC was pretty uneventful, but more turbulent than I've experienced in a bigger plane in recent memory. I was happy that Delta serves some healthy snacks and Sprite Zero (my current soda of choice.) We met up with my dad in the baggage claim for our 90 min layover. He brought me a Café Rio salad, which made me really happy. We chatted and got caught up until we had to head back through security. We had another boarding pass hiccup trying to go through security because our passes said ONT to FLL, and didn't mention SLC because it was a continuing flight on the same flight number. I had to go back to the Delta check in to verify my boarding passes, then have the Delta employee escort me back to the front of the security line. Rosie realized that she forgot her MP3 player back in CA, but wasn't too sad because there were plenty of radio stations to listen to on the plane. The in-flight movie was Freedom Writers….eh, it was okay. We arrived in Ft. Lauderdale just after midnight. After picking up our luggage, we met Taylor out on the curb with a big hug and kiss. It was about 15 minutes back to FXE, which is the airport that Jet University is located. The dorms aren't terrible, but we realized that the room that Rosie and I were staying in was practically a closet, and it did not have a bunk bed. Rosie sleeps on the floor, and I've got a twin bed. We stayed up until 2:00 am, and then Taylor headed back to his dorm room.

Friday morning we went to the gym for a really intense workout. The 24 Hour Fitness "Sport Shaq" was the most impressive gym I've ever been to. I did 35 min on the elliptical and about 25 minutes of weights. I showed Taylor some of the workouts that I've been doing with my trainer, including the correct way to do crunches on the stability ball. We had lunch at Chick-Fil-A, relaxed at the dorms for a while, ran some errands, then headed off for the beach. We went to Fort Lauderdale Beach, which is on A1A... "beach front avenue!" (Like from the song "To the Extreme" by Vanilla Ice) This beach was so beautiful….free parking, showers, clean sand. The water was sooo warm compared to California. We swam, played water games with Rosie, and took lots of pictures. The weather was just perfect….upper 70s so not too hot, just HUMID. We relaxed on the beach for a half hour, then went back in till we'd had our fill of salt water. We cleaned up reasonably well at the showers, then drove to Kyojin. This is an upscale Japanese and Sushi buffet. It's the most pricey buffet I've ever eaten at ($20 a person) but it was delicious! The sushi was fresh and expertly prepared, there were lots of fresh veggie dishes to choose from, the gyoza was amazing, and the Japanese ice cream was marvelous. I had the biggest meal I'd eaten in a long time, but at least it was super healthy! We then went to see "Meet the Robinsons" at the local Regal Cinemas. We came back to the dorms, watched an episode of Roswell, and went to bed fairly early (it was a FULL day of fun!)

Saturday we spent most of the day in the car (approx 300 miles). We started the day out with a moderate (45 min) workout at the 24 Sport Shaq and got some trip food at the Winn-Dixie, including fresh pineapple chunks and peach soda. I was trying to navigate with some travel brochures (not to scale) and a 10 year old atlas. Taylor wanted to avoid the toll roads (which are everywhere here!) so we went a pretty roundabout way to get down to the Florida Keys. We were going to visit the Micosugee Indian Reservation and take an Everglades airboat ride...but once we'd gone about 10 miles, with multiple freeway changes, into a 45 mile trip, wasting almost 2 hours, we realized that the map was not to scale and it would take forever to get there. We did a little shopping, including the most clean thrift store I've ever seen (It was the Goodwill Megastore LOL) Throughout the day, I got a new memory stick for my cell phone, a cute new kimono-looking dress, some tanks, new swim bottoms, some souvenirs, and some clothes for Rosie....including a cute pink shirt with a skull and crossbones that says Pirate Princess.

The Florida Keys are beautiful!!! The water is all sorts of amazing colors, and the kitschy little old resort towns were entertaining to travel through. There weren't a lot of beaches to stop at...most were rocky or had no parking. We drove about 45 miles into the 120 mile drive towards Key West, but the drive already took much longer than we expected. We got dinner at Ruby Tuesdays, and then paid a whopping $1.25 to take the toll road to a more direct freeway towards home (which shaved off about 90 minutes off our drive back.) After stopping for some groceries and a blanket at SuperWalmart, we came back to the Jet U Dorms to chill for the evening.

Today we'll try to hit a sacrament meeting, and then do more sightseeing with Taylor before he's back into the focused-student thing again. We might go to a different airboat Everglades place that is much closer, and maybe Flamingo Gardens today. Taylor will be in class tomorrow, so Rosie and I will do Wannado City and Sawgrass Mills mega-mall. Heidi Zender, our old neighbor from across the street in Balmoral, is flying in on Monday too. We'll probably eat dinner with her and Rob that night.

Currently listening : Little Wonders By Rob Thomas Release date: 19 April, 2007

Florida, Here I come!

I can't sleep...I've been up since 3:00 am...and I'm totally into that "kid-on-Christmas-Eve-who-knows-Santa-is-coming-tonight" mentality. I will be landing in Ft. Lauderdale in less than 16 hours to the loving arms of my husband. Yayyyy!

I'm about 97% packed now, just showered, and have almost 3 hours to kill until I leave for work. I've got a morning meeting then I'll leave for the place my hubby's called home for the last month. Well, maybe not home, but his temporary educational domiclie.

Jeers to target.com, though. I ordered a new swim suit on their website on April 5, with shipping that was supposed to take 3-5 days. It was supposed to be here by yesterday. Even if it was delivered today, I'm not coming back to my house after 8am *sigh* I guess I'll wear one of my worn-out ones.

24 Aqua

I went to water aerobics tonight and pushed myself harder than I ever have. I was doing the kicks...but totally kicking out of the water and above my head. I used heavier weights, did more reps, and exercised some muscles I didn't know existed. Now I'm soooo sore. I can hardly walk up stairs. My poor glutes.

If anyone wants to join me, I go to 24Aqua at 24 Hour Fitness in Upland at 6:00 Monday nights. It's a killer class...I've gone down a size in my swimsuit in the last month.

Weight Loss Kick

As I've mentioned a few times, I've been on a big (pardon the pun) weight loss kick since October. I was just scanning through a few pictures from last summer and couldn't believe that those pictures were me. I was sick of how I looked and how I felt, and decided to make the changes necessary to be healthy and fit. The endorphins are so addicting. I've been sleeping better and having more energy during the day. It's easier to find clothes that fit, and I have so much more confidence. It's much easier to stick with what is healthy when I see the results. Let's hope I can keep this up...I'm going to Florida later this month!

Eight years ago today

Current mood: nostalgic

On March 26, 1999...Steve and I were married. We were married 4.5 rollercoaster years, then divorced.

It's kinda weird to think back on my life with him. It started out okay...we were married in the temple, and came from good backgrounds. We had some good moments and some fun trips, but the bad in our marriage definitely outweighed the good. He made choices that were wrong continually, yet I chose to "stand by my man." Many moments were shear hell, to be honest. But a woman can only stand so much deceit, abuse, and disappointment. Leaving him (or kicking him out, rather) was the hardest but most rewarding decision I have ever made.

We've been divorced 3.5 years, and I've been married to Taylor almost 2.5 years now. My time with Steve seems like an eternity ago. It's amazing to compare the love and adoration I receive in my marriage with Taylor, that was never present with Steve. I feel cherished and understood, and despite the student-husband scenario...I feel like he's taken good care of me.

Despite the trials I'm going through now, I'm happy. I am confident about myself in a way that I haven't felt since high school. I'm healthy, I'm feeling spiritually well, and I've got a lot going for me. It's taken a long time for me to heal from the wounds of the Steve years...but I think I'm there. I have some amount of bitterness due to his actions, especially those taken against Rosie...but I have forgiven him. I am sad that he is suffering the consequences of his actions in such a severe way. I'm sad that he didn't get the help he needed before he became out of control. But I can only be involved so much, and I'm happy that I don't have to be in contact with him anymore.

Currently listening : Speak for Yourself By Imogen Heap Release date: 01 November, 2005

2007 Getting to Know Me

Welcome to the 2007 edition of getting to know your friends. What you are supposed to do is copy (not forward) this entire bulletin and paste it onto a new one. Change all the answers so they apply to you, and then post it. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends, if you did not know them already.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:00, but it felt like 6:00. I forgot to reset my alarm for daylight savings.

2. Diamonds or Pearls? Diamonds

3 What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Music and Lyrics

4. What is your favorite TV show? 24, House, Heroes, Gilmore Girls, ER, The Office, Ugly Betty, and reruns of 90210 on the Soap Network.

5. What did you have for breakfast? Luna Bar (strawberries and cream, I believe)

6. What is your middle name? Marie

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Tex Mex, with Japanese and Thai close behind.

8. What food do you dislike? Sweet Pickles, Tapatio, and half the food served in the hospital cafeteria.

9. Your favorite chip? Hint of Lime Tostitos and Dill Pickle Lays (will anyone in Utah send some to me? They don't sell them in Cali!)

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? A mix of 100 dance hits of the 90's. Oh...the stake dance memories!

11. What kind of car do you drive? 2007 Black Honda Fit Sport (still unnamed, but I call it the Fit)

12. Favorite Sandwich ? It's pretty specific, and I actually get it at work...Chicken salad, mustard no mayo, american cheese, sprouts, mushrooms, and pickles on squaw bread. MMMMMMMMM

13. What are your favorite clothes? The ones that I'm finally fitting into again since I've lost 30 lbs :)

14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? That's a tough one. I've always wanted to travel to Europe and Japan. I'm going to Florida next month to visit my husband, and I'm excited about that.

16. Favorite brand of clothing. Old Navy, as long as it isn't pre-distressed

18. Where would you want to retire? A log cabin in Oregon, but Taylor doesn't seem too impressed by it. I'd love to be by the ocean too.

19. Favorite time of day? Actually, I'm a morning person. But anytime I'm not working is typically my favorite.

20. Where were you born? Portland, OR

21. What is your favorite sport to watch? Super Bowl Commercials

22. Who do you think will not post this? No clue

23. Person you expect to post it first? No clue

24. Pepsi or Coke? Diet Cherry either. I'm also digging the strawberries and cream Pepsi Jazz.

25. Cats or Dogs? Neither, and never if I can help it

26. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Morning

27. Pedicure or manicure? Pedicure. My feet are killin' me!

28. Do you prefer funny or mushy cards? I kinda like the suggestive ones, just for the shock value. I usually give the funny ones.

29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? Taylor's in Fort Lauderdale for 14 weeks at a Jet training academy. He will be hired with Pinnacle Airlines when he is done. I will be very happy to have an employed spouse! Oh, and I've lost 30 lbs :)

30. What did you want to be when you were little? A radio DJ

31. What do you have in your trunk right now? bottles of water and my gym bag

32. What is your best childhood memory? Big family get-togethers, and growing up in Oregon

33. What are all the different jobs you have had in your life? Missionary Department receptionist, theater usher, optician, directory assistance agent, patient service representative, pathology secretary, and now a Medical Staff Coordinator.

35. What is your favorite dessert? Flan, or anything else with Caramel

36. Favorite Get away? Currently, Utah.

37. Ever been to Africa ? No

38. Glasses or Contacts? Both. I got some swanky new glasses that I really dig.

39. Ever been toilet papering? Yes, and I got caught by a cop and had to clean it up on the spot

40. Been in a car accident? Nothing serious

41. Favorite day of the week? Don't really have one anymore, but any evening that I actually get to relax is awesome.

42. Favorite restaurant? In Utah: Cafe Rio, Cedars of Lebanon, The Pie, Kneaders and Kyoto. In Cali: On the Border Mexican Grill, El Torito, Acupulcos, Elephant Bar, and La Tolteca.

43. Favorite flower? Sterling roses and gerber daisies

44. Favorite movies? Romantic Comedies

45. Favorite Past time? Exercising (water aerobics, elliptical, walking, weight machines) Catching up on my tivo, going to concerts, spending time with the family.

46. Favorite ice cream? Ben and Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie.

47. Favorite fast food restaurant. El Pollo Loco, Chick-fil-a, and anywhere else I can get food to go along with my diet

48. How many times did you fail your drivers test? Zero

49. Sandals or tennis shoes? Sandals

50. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Dillards, Old Navy, Costco, Frys, Children's Place

51. If the speed limit is 60 what is the fastest you will drive? I don't ever drive more than about 5-6 over.

52. What is your bedtime? Around 10:30, unless I fall asleep watching tv first

53. Whose response to this are you most curious about? I wonder if Taylor will actually fill one of these out

54. Last person you went to dinner with? Rosie...we had tacos on the way back from the gym tonight

55. What are you listening to right now? Rosie singing to herself

56. What is your favorite color? midnight blue, hot pink and lime green

57. How many tattoos do you have? 0

58. Who was your first kiss? Richard Jensen, behind the Draper Theater during a dress rehearsal of Pirates of Penzance. He was a smoker, and it was icky.

59. What are you most afraid of? The unbelievable amount of debt I'm in. And being naked in the shower during an earthquake.

60. What time did you finish this survey? 8:41 pm.

27th Birthday Shindig

Okay...here's the 411

Birthday party at my house in La Verne on Friday, Feb 9 from 6:30 to 10:30. Message me if you need directions.

No gift required...but if you are feeling extra generous, I love restaurant and movie gift cards :)

***In case you don't know me very well...no alcohol will be served. I got teased at work today for saying that the party would consist of pizza and cake.

Nicole's state of the self 2007

Current mood: determined

I just walked back in the house from saying goodbye to Taylor. He is leaving for 3-5 weeks for Sheble's Flight School in Kingman, AZ. This weekend has been hard, knowing that we're about to embark on the longest seperation that we've had so far in our marriage. He was gone for about a week in October 2005 when he was finishing his Private Pilot License at Sheble's. And I was in California for two weeks in May 2006 as Taylor was finishing up moving from Utah....but we saw each other for the weekend between at Andrea's wedding in St. George. So 3-5 weeks seems like an eternity. He will return for a few days once he finishes his Commercial license to take his FAA written flight instructor test. And if he's away for my birthday in February, we'll spend a conjugal weekend in Laughlin. Until then, I'm a pilot widow.

This weekend I've been noticing how many things he does for me to make me happy. While he is gone, I'll have to do all the dishes, cooking, cleaning, and Rosie-taxiing. I'll have to double check the lights and locks before I go to bed. I'll have to sleep in a bed only warmed by blankets and my own body heat. I love him so much and I know that this training will advance him for his future. So I'm a bit melancholy, but I'm sure I'll be fine.

We had a wonderful trip to Utah for Christmas. It was great to see my family, friends, and old co-workers. I had lots of wonderful food that I can't get in Cali (Leatherby's, Famous Daves, and especially Cafe Rio (twice!!) When it was time to come home, I felt refreshed for a few more months.

Work is going fine. I'm working a little more at Chino Valley Hospital lately. It's a longer commute, but I feel more appreciated there. Again, the new year of paychecks is a bit disappointing.....I'm making less this year than last because of benefit premium increases (and no raise.) C'est la vie.

Healthwise I'm doing okay. I saw the doctor last month and had a full lab workup. All tests are normal, which is good because I had been suspecting diabetes for a few months. I've lost about 17 pounds on Weight Watchers since October, which has helped my general well-being. I'm going to have to try harder to get to the gym while Taylor is gone. I'll miss his babysitting for my gym visits. It would be good if I get into better shape while he's gone and he notices my improvement. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.

Rosie continues to love Kindergarten. It's fun to see her learning how to read. Now there are no written secrets...she will spell out words on my secret notes to self and figures things out. School starts back up again, so she'll thrilled.

So that's the state of me for January 2007. I'm surviving, but not quite thriving. Will be better when my husband is making money. Yay!

Currently listening : Finally Woken By Jem Release date: 23 March, 2004

Disturbing!

I just got a letter today from the La Verne Police Department. It was notifying us that a HIGH RISK SEX PREDATOR has moved into the house behind us, across the alley, one house over. He has served sentences for three felony sex crimes, two for children under 14, and was released from parole last month. This is making me sick to my stomach. I have seen this man before, and his car has driven by my house. He lives within 100 feet of us, and Rosie's bedroom window faces the alley he drives on. I'll definitely be keeping the blinds closed. Now, to get William to close that blasted gate....

Temp Job

Well, after a terribly un-fruitful job search, six weeks and counting, it looks like I'm going to take a temp position at Kaiser in Corona. The pay is almost as bad as LDS Hospital, ($3 less an hour than COH) and it's a thirty mile drive each way....but it's some money.

I heard back on two positions that I was really interested in that hired other people, so I don't really have any better prospects at this time.

It's been a big blow to my self-esteem. I've never tried so hard and had so little results. Even when I tried to leave PHB. I find it kinda funny that I'm taking a job doing medical billing and collections, when that is the former job I disliked the most.

Taylor just picked up an app at Chili's in La Verne. If he's working a few nights a week, we shouldn't go under too far financially.

Please keep us in your prayers.

Adoption Party

We're heading to Utah again next week. We have our court date for Taylor's adoption of Rosie to be finalized. We are so happy this is finally happening, and want to invite you to celebrate with us!

We are having an open house at my parents' house in Murray on Friday, August 11 from 6:30-10:00. If you are able to come, message me for the address (if you don't already know where they live)

We already know this will be a quick trip, so please don't feel offended if we can't visit everyone. If you come, you'll probably run into some familiar faces.

Resign or get fired

I had a shock at work yesterday. I got a call from the HR manager, who wanted to see how my job search was going. He said that even though my resignation was effective Aug 4, he said my managers were complaining about me. He told me to be prepared to leave this week, probably Thursday.

Then I come back to my desk, and my supervisor asks me to come into her office. She asked me to clean up my desk then and there.

So I'm done with City of Despair. Take this job and shove it!

I have 2, possibly 3 interviews today, so I'm not too worried about finding something else. And we might take a quick trip up to Utah this weekend.